Ep16: Unlocking the Power of Emotional Intelligence at Work with Alina Addison
In this episode of the Human Wise podcast, host Helen Wada kicks off the second series with Alina Addison, a renowned coach, leadership expert, and author of 'The Audacity Spectrum.' They discuss the essential aspects of being human at work, the importance of emotional intelligence, and overcoming the challenges of bringing one's full self to professional environments.
The episode delves into how leaders can integrate human elements into commercial settings for better decision-making and relationship-building, highlighting the need for courage, care, and nonconformity in leadership.
Topics Discussed:
Discussion on Emotional Intelligence
Emotional Hierarchy and Awareness
Listening and Leadership
Delegation and Letting Go
Intelligence Beyond the Brain
Timestamps:
[00:00] Welcome to Human Wise podcast series two.
[05:46] Embrace humanity at work; share appropriately.
[07:25] Authentic self in business is commercially vital.
[11:44] Fast-paced challenges require deliberate time and space.
[17:46] Sensing conversations' direction is crucially important.
[20:54] Align mind, gut, heart for smarter decisions.
[25:04] Gut, heart, brain neurons compared in podcast discussion.
[30:33] Feeling uniquely defines individual authenticity, says Cummings.
[31:40] Coaching promotes mindfulness, self-awareness, and connection.
[34:37] Pause, reflect, and regulate emotions for better decisions.
[37:56] Listening is underrated but crucial, difficult skill.
[41:23] Great conversation; resolved issues; well appreciated.
About Alina Addison:
Order The Audacity Spectrum: Leading with Care, Courage and Non-Conformity
Watch @AudaciousAlina on Youtube
“The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra."
From leader to coach, I am passionate about the difference people can make.
As a coach, I will help you achieve your impossible dreams and become the best version of yourself. It takes commitment and a little courage. My work focuses on Applied Positive Psychology and neuroscience in the workplace and developing core Emotional Intelligence (EQ) competencies for leadership success.
As a former Managing Director, Head of Trading and Execution in the City and a qualified charter accountant, I have over 20 years of corporate experience in managing people and delivering results.
As an advocate of diversity, inclusion and social responsibility, I was a founding member of Rothschild Diversity Committee and Women's Network Speaker series and a Charity Committee member. I have been an active fund raiser for own adopted charities over the last 20 years.
A long standing member and promoter of networking organisations including: ICAEW, Adelaide House and everywoman.
The founder and owner of a boutique hotel in Transylvania, which I built over 3 years, operational since 2005 and now hosting our Audacious Leaders Retreats in May every year.
My passion for EQ has been ignited by my wonderful son, who has Aspergers. He is my biggest testimony so far, that with a lot of commitment and patience, EQ can be developed and improved.
As the founder of Adaptaa and the conductor of an amazing team of leaders and coaches, I am a creator and executor of impossible dreams. When you allow yourself to dream big, you’ll live big, regardless of the obstacles life throws your way.
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Ep16: Unlocking the Power of Emotional Intelligence at Work with Alina Addison
[00:00:00] Welcome to HumanWISE, a podcast that explores the commercial advantage of being human at work. Hosted by me, Helen Wadder, executive coach and founder of The Human Advantage. I'm thrilled to be on this journey with you, learning what it really means to be human in business, one conversation at a time.
Helen Wada: ! Hello everybody. And good morning. Welcome to the second series of human wise, podcast that explores the commercial advantage of being human at work. And for me kicking off this second series, there's nobody better than the lady that I have here with me today.
Alina's Background and Journey
Helen Wada: Alina Addison. She is my North star in terms of her coaching capabilities. We met. Many moons ago, back in almost 10 years ago, 2015, she is a [00:01:00] trailblazing coach, leadership expert, and author of her recently published book, The Audacity Spectrum. Alina, it's absolutely wonderful to have you here on the podcast today.
And I've got no doubt that the listeners will enjoy our conversation.
Alina Addison: Thank you so much, Helen, for that wonderful introduction. And I have to say, I mean, I love being the first. So being the first on your second series really warms my heart.
The Concept of Being Human at Work
Alina Addison: And we are on, you know, the human wise podcast and being human.
That's exactly what happened to us this morning. Just getting around to doing this with lots of technical issues and wondering whether we're even going to be able to To go ahead. So wonderful to have you here. And yeah, let's see. Let's play. Let's play. Starting with
Helen Wada: being
Alina Addison: human.
Helen Wada: Who is Alina? Who is Alina?
If, your friends and family would describe you, how would they describe you [00:02:00] as a person?
Alina Addison: Well, I think there's probably two different questions as to who is Alina. How would they describe me? I think, you know, they will probably describe me as this, you know, courageous and someone who believes that.
everything is possible, I suspect. So, you know, I am a mother. That's probably the most important title of two beautiful children. I am a sister. I am a daughter. You know, I'm a friend and it was a lovely introduction from you as a beautiful friend. I am a partner. I am a you know, a leader. I'm a team player.
I'm so many different things. It's a spectrum of roles, which is, you know, obviously I love the word spectrum being in the title of my book, but I always refer to that.
Helen Wada: And I think it's wonderful just pausing to actually reflect on who we are as people, because that's Something that's really [00:03:00] important, you know, and runs the thread through these conversations is that everybody is different.
We all are, you know, we have different parts of us. And I think we talk about that in coaching a lot is that what part of you, because there's no, you know, one whole piece.
Emotional Intelligence and Leadership
Helen Wada: There's bits of us that pull together and then, you know, going into that, what does being human at work mean? Because there's a lot of conversations around it, you know, and the momentum is building around this concept of being human at work, importance of treating people in the right way, but also we're in a very commercial world.
So, you know, your background, and I didn't say at the outset, but It's professional practice, a chartered accountant, a fellow chartered accountant, investment banker. I've asked you to come to the conversation today because of that professional experience and where you are now with the emotional intelligence working as a leadership coach.
So what does being human at work mean to [00:04:00] you?
Alina Addison: Well, actually, it's interesting when you just, redid that introduction, because when you asked me, you know, who am I, and I suppose what you just referred to some of, you know, the things that I have done, I suppose, in terms of, yes, a charter accountant with PwC, I've been an investment banker with Rothschild, I was the head of trading, you know, I'm an emotional intelligence coach, I built a hotel in Transylvania where I do retreats.
So there is a lot of things that I, did as such. But as human, you know, what does human mean? When we are at work, and I mean, that's a very complex question. I was thinking about, you know, what you've done and what you are also trying to, you know, to do in the world with this beautiful podcast.
But it's, it's not easy to be human at work, because, you know, historically we believed we're human at home. And I am, or have been, very guilty of that in that [00:05:00] professional career that you referenced. You know, I was very, I was trained and conditioned into you leave home at home. Yeah. You don't bring the human at work.
And I still remember some of those days where, you know, you just have to leave everything. And with me, I had two young children and one of them was a special child on the spectrum. And I had to literally just shut that door. And, lock it out, block it out. The moment I went through the door of my house.
my employer. Today I have a different perspective and a different view and of course the world is also changing with allowing ourselves to be more human at work, to bring the human as in, you know and, the book, I would refer to the book as leading with courage, care and non conformity is the care bit of you know, bringing the full selves sometimes [00:06:00] with what's happening outside of work and giving ourselves permission to bring bits of that.
I'm not saying, you know, overshare and bring everything. But sometimes, although depending on what types of teams, but it's having this permission to share who we are outside of work and what we care about, what we care for. And, you know, a lot of the work that I do, and I know that you do too, is this, you know, the emotional intelligence, is this permission to bring the emotions.
The appropriate ones, I would say, into work because the emotional brain is extremely powerful and we make decisions with that brain. And the moment we forget about it or we don't access it. We really miss a lot of that intelligence in our decision making.
Helen Wada: And I think, you know, that's when I was listening to the words that you were using, and as coaches, we're trained to listen to [00:07:00] the words that people are using, as much as what they're saying.
But you used, you know the word permission, to bring that into the workplace. And I would, advocate and say, actually, it's more than permission. I believe, and this is where the commercial angle comes in, you know, and welcome your perspectives. But actually, if we're not bringing These human elements into our conversations.
And you think about my previous role as a global client director and working in with external customers, building relationships, winning work, identifying opportunities, all those kinds of things. If you're not bringing who you are into those conversations, then actually you're missing a trick. Because for me, and this is where I start with the sort of the, how you show up in the human framework that I work with is knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom, which is a beautiful quote from Aristotle and it's about actually the commercial [00:08:00] importance of caring.
Alina Addison: You talk about
Helen Wada: caring in your book, but I think for me, it's gone beyond permission and actually to a point of we need to be doing this, not just for ourselves and our human happiness. But actually for our commercial conversations with our teams, our stakeholders and our clients.
Alina Addison: Now, you're absolutely right, Helen.
And it's actually, it's not, you know, it's going beyond permission. As you said it's, making that invitation, to self and to others. And you're right. It's, I mean, it's a beautiful quote by Aristotle, but it is leading self is the first step. also about the emotional intelligence. So it's, we can't lead others until we learn to lead self, you know, with all of the things on the spectrum of what that means, and then we also need to lead others, but to lead the environment, we need to be able to adapt to what's around us, not necessarily just other people, but everything else that means the [00:09:00] environment around us.
So, you know, from a commercial perspective, absolutely we're missing a trick because we are making decisions. With the human part of us and the, rational brain is incredibly important. Of course, the cortex and the CEO of our brain but knowing that actually is it's the emotions are the one that drive us and we lead people, but people are driven by emotions and therefore having that awareness is incredibly powerful in, the workplace.
Helen Wada: And we can sit and we say, we know that the power of it, but, you know, as well as I do that in the, corporate commercial world, particularly in financial services, industries, and so forth, that there's an acknowledgement that this is important,
Alina Addison: but
Helen Wada: actually we'll have listeners on the podcast that are going, I know it's important, but actually I've got.
This [00:10:00] commercial objective, that commercial objective, and this is the way we need to run the business.
Challenges and Practical Advice
Helen Wada: What would your advice be with given your experience in the shift and I'll share some perspectives in a moment in terms of how organizations and leaders can start to shift the dial to lead with care, courage, nonconformity.
Because some of this is stepping out of the comfort zone, and this is all about what the audacity spectrum is about in your book.
Alina Addison: Yes, and you mentioned the word, you know, stepping out of the comfort zone, but it's not an easy path, and actually I think even, you know, you're right, there is an acknowledgement that it is important, and some leaders apply that.
You know, more than others. I think some of them went beyond acknowledgement, but again, acknowledgement is another chapter in my book early on. You need to acknowledge that this is important, as you said but then you're going to, you have to go beyond that. You need to go also in action. And you [00:11:00] know, it's like how it's the, difficulty of putting some of this in practice when you are under pressure.
When you are measured against the goal and an outcome and it's incredibly fast paced and, even more so now, I think, you know this year for me, I don't know about you, but for me and my own clients, it felt incredibly fast paced given what's happening in the world as well around us. At the moment.
So, you know, our brains are so bombarded and inundated with all sorts of news that actually stopping and pausing and well, acknowledging again to use your acknowledging the emotions that are running really high. It's not an easy task, so you need to create the deliberate time and space. And, really, that is, that's probably one of the most difficult tasks, actually, even for, [00:12:00] organizations.
I mean, there, there is a lot of willingness, I would say, from some. And then you run into the difficulty of really how that works. this play out in practice.
Helen Wada: And you remind me of a coaching session actually that I had last week while I was working with a senior leader that was taking a step up and one of the big things on her list was about delegation
Alina Addison: and
Helen Wada: struggling with that.
And delegation can facilitate so many things because it elevates those in the team. It gives you more to think. And for her, it was a one line goal, but actually In an hour and a half, something that she didn't think was possible. We were able to unpick what was stopping her, what she would do, all those actions by creating, you know, and I say, sometimes as a coach, I'm a thinking partner, creating that space to think it doesn't have to be with a [00:13:00] professional coach.
I mean, obviously, you know, people like yourself and I work with leaders all of the time. But actually finding a thinking buddy or something like that to take a step out because all the time we're running, and we may not see that longer trajectory. in terms of what's most important to our potential clients, the clients that we're working with today, or even our team members.
Alina Addison: True. And you and I are biased or I'm not going to speak for yourself, but I am as much as of course, a trusted advisor, you know, a thinking partners, powering partner, it's incredibly important for, well, I dare say everyone but, serving for leaders and in organizations. And that's definitely a tool that's more.
Use today in terms of having coaching, definitely coaching practices, coaching conversation, co coaches as part of some of the you know, the teams to help with some of this facilitation and, you know, bringing the [00:14:00] human part to work. And this thing, you know, all of this takes time. It's not a most of the organization that I work with in the financial services industry, you know, they need.
They need results right now, you know, as I said, that sort of speed is really important to them and sometimes you need to allow for, you know, the work to be done in order to see the reward. It's the same as it's a return on investment that everybody knows in the financial services. It takes some, we invest in something and it takes years to see the return.
It's, similar to everything else. And I think we. We use the ROI as a ripple of impact. You work with one leader, you work with the team. You know, you work with a member, then you will affect and impact the rest. And, you know, going back to what we just talked before about emotions, one of the data, you know, emotions are data.
That's what I say to my leaders because they get scared by this idea. [00:15:00] Emotions are not permitted, allowed. work, but the, you know, emotions are purely a data point. They show us what is important, what we care about. So if we get angry, it's because, you know, maybe one of our rules, well, no boundaries has been violated.
You know, similarly, so it's, are we able to access that data to tell us what's important? And but emotions are contagious, of course. That's the most, you know, again, knowing that, and I think most people maybe might know it at the cognitive level, but, you know, if we are in a bad mood as a leader, guess what?
You know our team will start feeling the same way, not even knowing what happened and, why. In, a similar way if, we had a bad day as a leader and we go and lock ourselves into the office, you know, people in the team may feel that it's something to do with them, not having been communicated.
And I always say that communication part again, [00:16:00] what, you know, simple is it's sometimes probably the most sophisticated is of course, communication. We all know it's vital is letting the team or someone else know, you know I'm not having a great day. Can I just have some space? It's nothing to do with you because it's humans.
Interestingly, we tend to take things personally. That's how the brain is wired.
Helen Wada: It does. You know, we think it's, if you go back to us this morning, we think the tech, we think it's ourselves. We think it's done something wrong. Actually, you know, sometimes it doesn't work. But it, goes back to that knowing yourself part
Alina Addison: that
Helen Wada: we spoke about earlier, because playing this into, and this is where one of my big passions is customer conversation.
So you think about the ROI, you think about. Building new relationships, you know, growing your business, being able to sense yourself where conversations are going and where they should go and need to go, I believe is crucially [00:17:00] important. And we also talk about it in the programs that we do about it's data.
So sensing, and we've all been in those meetings, whether it's internally or with clients, where it's just not going according to plan, or you've got an idea and you can sense it. And sometimes, you know, I've witnessed them where they just keep on going and keep on going rather than going. Let's take time out.
Don't even need to say that. But it's just about, can I just check in? Does that resonate with you?
Alina Addison: Are
Helen Wada: we, are we going in the right direction? Is this, a useful use of your time? And actually, it's an amazing things that come back from that, because that's starting with self. That's starting with us sensing that something's a little bit off track.
And then bringing it back on path. And I think knowing your senses, tapping into that data, that emotional data is crucially [00:18:00] important, not just for ourselves from where, you know, managing the teams and recognizing how we're feeling, but also as you extend those into customer relationships, into working with suppliers,
Alina Addison: into the
Helen Wada: whole ecosystem
Alina Addison: Totally.
The Importance of Attunement
Alina Addison: That's probably one of the most difficult parts, because what you are referring to, Helen, you know, the sensing part, I call that in my book attunement. Yes. Yes, it's my, literally my first A. So for your listeners, so my book, The Audacity Spectrum which really advocates for audacious leadership, i.
e. bringing courage and care and nonconformity into the leadership, has got these eight A's. Which is, you know, similar to a North Star, which is what you mentioned at the beginning, so there are these spikes of the star, and the very first A, so there are eight A's the very first A is attunement.
Which is a [00:19:00] really difficult one. I mean, it takes a while to learn to attune to self because especially for people who have been in corporations, what they have they have learned to stay in their head,
you
know, really use the rational brain, the being incredibly smart and fast and intellectual and, you know, making decisions and making judgments.
I mean, that's what they get paid for. or they think and get paid for. And but what then happens is we, when we stay so much in our heads, we lose the access to what we say heart, but also the gut. And there is a lot of science that's not coming to prove to us. There is a lot of intelligence in those other centers.
In the heart and the, and the gut and actually, you know, I mean, there, there is some science to it and in terms of, you know, I think I'm just going to try to see [00:20:00] if I can find it, but it's, really, well, I can't find at the moment, but there's, I think we've got 100 billion neurons in the brain, but we also have, you know, 100 into our gut and 40, 000 or 100, to the gut and to the heart.
So, you know, the moment we learn how to access it and stop. And what is my gut telling me? What is my heart? And checking in, we then have suddenly access to so much more intelligence into making a decision. That will end up being a lot smarter, interestingly because we allowed ourselves to be. to to align those centers to, you know, and breathing is a really obvious one that's very underused and underutilized.
I mentioned that in a, in a. Recent podcast, but it's true. We don't stop. And we, again, the courage, when you mentioned sometimes in a meeting, we get this sense that something is [00:21:00] wrong. So it's a failed sense. You know, we can't really, we can't maybe express it in words but the, body is already sending us signals that something is going off track, but at that moment, you need courage to voice that because most of what happens, then we go into our brain and the brain says, Oh, Alina.
Oh, hell. It's just, I'm sure it's nothing wrong. I'm sure it's just me, you know, so we just start rationalizing it and defending and saying that it's just it's, and we just literally throw it away. And it's easier to do it if it's a one to one or one to two, but imagine when you're in a big board meeting, it's like, and so the courage that it takes to say, hang on a minute.
This doesn't feel right. It's like, what is she on about?
Helen Wada: And it takes me back to, you know, one of the reasons that I'm sat here today, why I set up the human advantage almost three years ago now, because when I was working with [00:22:00] clients, you know, professional services career for 25 years, and people would say to me, why are you good at.
What you do
Alina Addison: and
Helen Wada: whilst it's very flattering and, you know, it's a great compliment to have. I'm not happy with that. You know, me, it's like, okay let's be curious. Let's dig and understand what is it that I do, because wouldn't it be amazing if I could help other people do what I do rather than it just being about me, because that's the way my brain works.
And when I unpicked it and unpicked it around the conversations around the boardroom, around New customer relationships, new relationships across the business. The one common theme that I brought to that was the coaching skills that I had. I trained as an executive coach when you and I met back in 2015 and then my advanced diploma that I did earlier in 2020, 2021, just as the pandemic was kicking off, but it's those skills.
It's that felt sense. It's. It's [00:23:00] being able to listen, not just for what people are saying, but how they're saying it. The emotion behind the words. And, this is where I'm passionate about the human wise and how coaching can, the skills of a coach. Can support leaders everywhere. You know, we've heard about leader is coach.
How can you coaching skills with your teams, but, talking with you about this felt sense, these deeper coaching skills that you and I have been practicing for years, are truly skills that not only can help bring the human into the workplace, but actually to those financial services organizations and any business, you know, trying to develop themselves and do, good in the world.
They're really important. These skills are really, important.
Alina Addison: Oh, hugely important. And I'm going to embarrass myself on your podcast live
by allowing ourselves to pause for a second, because I really want to find this [00:24:00] one piece in the book and I don't know where it is, so I'm going to pause to try to see if I can find it.
You know, that sort of, Feeling and being felt. There is one little quote that I had, which I think will go so beautifully with what you've just said, Helen, but it will need me to find it. And actually it's interesting, I just, you know, looking for something else, but I did find the actual data. So here it says our gut has 100 million, you know, neurons and our heart 40, 000.
And. Much smaller than the number than the hundred billion found in the brain. Hey, ho, you know, they indicate the interconnectedness of our brains organs and the nervous system. But there is I really hope , and I wonder whether it is here. , Maybe it's not in the attunement. I thought it, it oh, I found it, Helen. Okay. Embarrassing myself by just looking for. you know, the quote, but I knew this would be a beautiful one to share.
So, is how do you become more [00:25:00] centered and attuned? Not an easy task, and according to poet e. Cummings, who, in a poet's advice, he declared, Almost anybody can learn to think, or believe, or know, but not a single human, not a single human being can be taught to feel. Why? Because whenever you think, or you believe, or you know, you're a lot of other people.
But the moment you feel, You're nobody but yourself. And for me, that's just, it really captured everything that we're talking about with, you know, the sense of felt and attunement and sensing. This is a really difficult Well, I don't, you know, I don't even know what to call it, skill, capability to teach.
You know, how do you feel?
Helen Wada: But there is something, and this is where I will draw on the power of coaching, Alina, because I [00:26:00] think in your book, if you go a little bit further, because I remember reading that, you talk about we can't teach people, but actually there are things that we can coach through them and we can suggest in terms of practice.
A little bit like mindfulness, but actually just noticing yourself, listening to your body, journaling, keeping a record of what you're sensing and you're feeling. And I'm sure you can build on that with what you say in the book for listeners, but yes, you're not going to be able to teach it, but there are practices that we can adopt in terms of being more human, in terms of connecting at a deeper level that are crucially important.
And I think that we will see more and more in the workplace in years to come.
Alina Addison: Totally. Absolutely, Helen. And actually, I mean, the thing that you can definitely, I mean, all of this is learnable. So, you know, I'll take that back. It's, you know, it's learnable and institutable in as much as we can learn emotions [00:27:00] in the way that we learn the timetable.
And, you know, again, the book has got the table of that because most people don't have the language. They cannot language how they feel. They might say to you, well, how do you feel, Helen? Good. Bad. Not so bad. I mean, that's how most people, I think we're getting a bit better these days to say, well, I am, you know, actually feeling a bit frustrated.
You took so long to find that quote, Alina. You sort of wasted five minutes of my podcast. But it's,
Helen Wada: it's, but
Alina Addison: you know, just having that language and it's okay. We're just, you know, another thing that's really important is naming is taming. And of course, playfulness and, you know, all of that you can bring in, you know, anger.
Anger is a better emotion than you know the lower frequency ones we were, I was talking to a client yesterday in a powerlessness, for example, or guilt or shame or jealousy. Actually, they are lower frequency they are emotions that we need to acknowledge. But, you know, anger is better because at least it gets us into some sort of action.[00:28:00]
And then we can go higher the emotion spiral with anger. You know, frustration is better than anger in a way because it's got less activation to it. But then we can go into joy and we can go in contentment and enthusiasm and passion and, you know, all of those high energy type emotions.
And you using humor, but absolutely the naming of the emotion is taming is almost like 50 percent of how we feel if we are able to express it. It makes us better decision makers. And I think that's the key for the listeners. You know, certainly that your audience and my audience is like, this is not, you know, airy fairy.
It's, motions. It's got to be an absolute practicality and has a big impact because the moment we, if we make decisions when we're angry or when we are in, you know, shameful or frustrated, the [00:29:00] likelihood of that emotion really driving a bad decision is pretty high. Whereas if we allow ourselves to acknowledge it and say, okay, you know, what makes me angry?
It's, and usually people it's fairness or, you know, what makes me frustrated is like, Oh, they're not fair. fast enough, you know, I just, I gave them a deadline. And so there's, there is a reason why we experienced that. Those emotions, the data, and then we stop and say, how do I want to feel? I mean, that's in a very simple way that I do my workshops.
You know, how are you all feeling right now? And how do you want to feel at the end? And then, you know, what's stopping us from feeling right now how we want to feel at the end? You know, we need to do a little bit of what you just mentioned. We need to pause and maybe do breathing, a little bit of mindfulness and therefore bring our states, our nervous system in a state that is more likely to be able to hear, you know, listening in and listening out and then [00:30:00] hearing what's right.
Although I'm, reluctant to use what's right and what's wrong, but at least what feels right. Right in the moment
Helen Wada: and there's something in your book and just I'm conscious of time that listening in and listening out that I've been sharing and you reminded me of it that if you unscramble I don't know if you remember boggle that we had as kids that game if you unscramble silent You also get listened.
Yes. And I love that because so many times you're witnessing people talk talk, actually that pause, that silent, that listening, because when you're truly listening, you not only can hear the words, the emotions of others, but you can tap into yourself as well. And I think there it's about just pausing, slowing down.
To ultimately do the best for yourselves, for your teams and your [00:31:00] clients. And, for me, that's where the circle comes. It's like, this is one skill that if we can support our listeners to, to practice and develop over time, quite frankly, it helps me with my teenage kids at home, you know, it's that pause.
What am I hearing? Where do we go? These are skills that are equally applicable at home and at work, and therein lies the human.
Alina Addison: Totally. And actually, I mean, that's what you're doing for your listeners. Of course, they are listening to your, you know, podcast. So you are teaching them to practice that skill.
And it is probably you know, arguably one of the most important skills at a leader, which if you said that to me when I was in the corporate system, I would have laughed at you genuinely. You know, I mean, they can have that judgment on self. Because to me, it's like, you don't understand Helen, you know, you want me to listen, but I've got so many things to do and I have deadlines [00:32:00] and, you know, I don't have time to listen to all of these things.
And without realizing actually how come to. productive and how counterintuitive that one skill is. And you write, you know, silent and listened. And it's still one of the hardest skills that I had to, well, I had to unlearn to go fast and be solution focused and fixing without really listening to what the problem was in the first place.
And you write in terms of, you know, the skills for our teenage. Children or young adults, for me, that's hard. I'm still being reminded by them as to, Mum, you're not listening right now. So, which I'm probably most proud because obviously I've taught them to be tuned. Yes, I
Helen Wada: get that as well. I go, Oh my goodness, this is what I do for a living.
And I get, okay, you've got me. But you might at least they're aware. [00:33:00] Alina, it's been wonderful.
Final Thoughts and Farewell
Helen Wada: You and I could keep on talking on, this subject all day, but I know, you know, you've got coaching clients to go to and I have as well. So a good coach loves a good question. If there's one question that you would get the listeners to ask themselves, reflecting back on this conversation, what would it be?
Alina Addison: But it goes back to your earlier mention of delegation. So my question that's coming up as I'm tuning into my intuition and my gut is, what are you willing to let go of? Because when you delegate, you need to let go of something. Yeah. And yeah, I mean, what are you willing to let go of as a, recovered control freak?
That's one of the most difficult one for me. Yeah.
Helen Wada: And I think you're right. I see it time and time again with the clients that I'm working with, there may be goals, there may be things they want to do, but until you can let go of what you do [00:34:00] today, you can't necessarily fill up your time with, what you do.
for tomorrow. So that's a wonderful question. Thank you, Alina. If the listeners want to find you or your book, where should they come to?
Alina Addison: Well, thank you for that. So, so I'm in, I'm on LinkedIn. That's my platform of choice. I do also have a presence on Instagram. My social media manager has also, done, I have now got a YouTube account, I believe, you know, I don't, but it's called Audacious Alina.
So a lot of my own LinkedIn lives. So, and you know, I had the pleasure of having you not that long ago, but it's so I've got, I do my own LinkedIn lives every other Monday. So they are now stored there. And as for the book the, Audacity Spectrum, it's the, major, shops in the UK, especially airports, I'm told.
So it's all you know,
Helen Wada: and
Alina Addison: then I also [00:35:00] saw it in the Manchester train station Piccadilly with my daughter this Saturday, which was amazing to see. So it's in WS meets there, but they probably the easiest Is Amazon, of course. Yeah,
Helen Wada: brilliant. Well wonderful to have you. I'm glad we hopefully seem to resolve the technical issues that we had at the beginning.
What a fabulous conversation. I know that many are going to benefit from listening to it. So thank you for joining me and have a super day.
Alina Addison: Thank you. Thank you. An honor and a pleasure. Thank you, Helen. Bye. Bye.
You for listening to the Human Wise Podcast. Don't forget to check out the show notes below. And if you enjoyed this episode, please consider sharing it with your network. To get in touch, you can find me, Helen Water or the Human Advantage on LinkedIn, or visit www.thehumanadvantage.co uk. I'd love to hear from you if any of the topics discussed.
Resonated or struck inspiration. [00:36:00] Let's keep this conversation going and build better business together. See you next time.